About a week ago now, in the middle of the night, I found myself not feeling well. I could not get to sleep because I was so uncomfortable. My stomach was flipping and turning and I felt extremely nauseated. It felt like "gunk" was sitting on my chest and would not move. I know -- gross, right? But, it is true. During my misery, I remembered from when I was a child how much better I had felt once I had vomited. I thought, "If I could just get it to come up and out, I would get so much relief."
Well, I paced the bathroom floor for over an hour while rubbing my stomach and moaning, being careful to stay close to the toilet. Nothing happened. The pain and the annoying feeling of nausea continued until finally, I could not stand it any longer. I kneeled down hovering over the toilet, contemplating the desperate thought to induce vomiting. The thought became an action and then, it was done. The gunk was gone and though it was not a pretty sight, I immediately felt better. It had taken me awhile to get to the point where I felt I could take the action to self induce vomiting, but it occurred to me that if I did not purge I would remain ill.
What is making you sick?
There are things in our lives that we carry inside of us that are making us sick. It is like that "gunk" I was talking about earlier. It is the poorly digested stuff, taking many forms, that upsets our stomachs and sets on our chests making it difficult for us to be at our best.
Some of the gunk is in the form of the many people you carry around who mean you no good. Some of it is in the form of grudges you have held onto from years ago. You must take inventory of the people you have in your inner circle and decide where you need to purge. Sometimes we keep people close just so that we are not alone. But at what cost? My mother used to say, "I can do bad by myself." So can you. You can't make someone love you or do the right thing, neither can you please everyone all of the time. Purge.
Sort through that emotional baggage that you have carried around for so long and make a decision to confront those issues honestly. Dealing with, rather than sitting with, issues that have affected our lives allow us an opportunity to sort through and purge those things that have made us ill. Those things that have led to poor self-esteem and the lack of sense of self that have caused self-destructive patterns of behavior.
Our bodies are so wonderfully made that they have a built-in alert system that warns us when some things are not quite right. It alerts us to get check-ups, to grab some over-the-counter medicines, or to lie down for awhile. That ill feeling in your stomach and that heaviness sitting there on your chest is a warning. Sometimes, the body will cause you to regurgitate, then, however, there are times when you must self-induce.
Purging is not always an easy decision to come to. Afterall, I walked around for over an hour feeling sick before I decided I couldn't do it any longer. But you -- you have been feeling sick for years. When are you going to decide that you want to feel better? Purge.
Contact columnist LaTonya Dunn at firstname.lastname@example.org.