Step back, take a long look before making a decision

Photo by Vicki Harris

Photo by Vicki Harris

Sometimes, it becomes necessary in our lives that we step back from some things.

Hold your hand up to your face so that your nose is touching your open palm. Do you notice that this makes it difficult to clearly see your hand? What is more, and perhaps the thing that underpins my point, is that the hand that you are holding is one that you have lived with your entire life, yet, when you are too close to it, it is difficult to "see" it.

However as you begin to slowly move your hand away from your nose, your focus is adjusted and your vision becomes clearer. From the ideas of family therapist, Bradford Keeney, we are able to make more and sometimes very critical distinctions that help us to know.

You can see the details of your hand including the lines, the shape and length of your fingers, and what your nails look like. Also, you can determine or make distinctions about what your hand is NOT.

When you lose your ability to make distinctions, you diminish your ability to know. Things are not always as they appear.

Just like with our little hand experiment, sometimes we can just be too close to situations in our lives that it blurs our vision and clouds our judgment. Sometimes, it might be that we are too close to our goals. And, by too close I mean that we can see nothing else which can create anxiety over the possibility of failing to achieve our goals.

So then, that which we have rationalized to be drive and focus is actually a case of you losing your ability to make distinctions about what is important or about the ways in which your goals are connected to other people and aspects of your life.

This means that we must recognize when it is time for us to step back.

Stepping back is not a bad or negative thing. Stepping back is not giving up or being defeated. It is about you giving yourself room-room that allows you to regain focus and clarity.

In those personal situations in our lives in which we are likely to be emotionally invested, it can be difficult to step back. However, it may be exactly what is necessary in order to change our view of the situation. Sometimes our view of the situation needs adjusting so that our relationship to the situation also changes.

When we are unable to do this, we are more likely to, for example, stay in unhealthy relationships or make impulsive purchases that we later regret. Likewise, as it relates to achieving our goals, we can want something so badly that we lose our ability to correctly determine what is, or who is, for our good. We are more likely to go about things in a way that could have adverse effects in our lives in a number of ways.

So step back.

If you find that you are unable to see clearly who you are in relationship to some person, thing, or goal, step back. If you find that you have lost your ability to know your personal truth, step back.

What might emerge is a more useful way of seeing and knowing that creates positive change in your life.

Be encouraged.

Contact columnist LaTonya Dunn at ln_dunn@yahoo.com.