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Facebook privacy breach is a little late

Photo by Vicki Harris

Photo by Vicki Harris

I see where public hysteria has erupted over revelations that the privacy of Facebook users everywhere has been breached. News reports indicate millions of people may have had information illegally, or unethically, transferred to other third parties and companies.

My response? So what.

Just tell me, what in God's name remains to be told about anyone who posts daily on Facebook? I mean people tell about their kids, what they ate last night, their sex life, the fact they caught their spouse cheating, on and on it goes.

I once thought that tequila was the ultimate inhibition reducer but lately I have decided it is topped by the glow of the computer screen as one begins to post the newest photos of themselves having Jell-O shooters licked from their bellybutton for all the world to see.

I once represented a man in a divorce whose soon to be ex-wife posted seductive photos of herself on top of a police cruiser from a nearby small town. Well, actually, I should say, attempted to be seductive, given that she weighed approximately the same as the Brahma bull which could be seen prominently in the background in a pasture.

As a result of this Facebook posting, the husband was easily able to prove his wife was cheating with a police officer. The police officer was fired as well. I'm not sure if he was fired because of having the affair with the married woman or because the police chief was concerned that the front axle of the police cruiser was damaged by the seductress squirming around on the hood of his car.

America has got to be the most self absorbed society in the history of mankind. You've got every kind of Facebook personality known to man, all intent on broadcasting every single tidbit of information concerning their life as helpless friends, who long ago signed up, are too embarrassed to remove themselves from the list.

You've got the young partiers who wish to broadcast to the world each night's newest exploits, most of which should qualify them for a prison term or to be permanently stricken from all potential job pools at any reputable organization.

There are the business professionals who seek to let you know each time they receive any award or success.

Don't forget the drama queen who posts each new crisis with boyfriend No. 89. Or, the Grim Reaper of bad news who informs the world that Fred from fifth grade -- 62 years ago -- has liver cancer after drinking a fifth of Jim Beam every day since meeting her.

But of all the Facebook types, none can possibly contend with the mother of young children. And yes, I know I am now treading into deep and treacherous water when speaking of women's children and especially considering I am the father, and my wife is the mother, of two little ones.

There is not a photograph known to man that a mother will not post on Facebook concerning her children. You can see little junior all dressed up for church, covered in mud in a mud puddle, or passed out on the couch (well actually that's me).

Little missy will be adorned in beads and a princess costume, sitting in a highchair with sweet potatoes from head to toe, or pulling on the dog's tail. Each picture is more glorious than the last.

Friends of my wife know more about my children than I do.

Oh well, I'm glad Facebook is taking action to make sure privacy is not invaded. After all, we all have the constitutional right to reveal it all ourselves. America's motto is now "it's a sorry dog that won't wag its own tail."

Contact columnist T. Gamble at t@colliergamble.com.