Well, I’m pretty sure the Christmas season must be nearing.
There are many telltale signs, but the most glaring sign of all is the desperation effort by the just turned 7-year-old hurricane boy to correct his wayward ways in time for removal from Santa’s naughty list to the horn of plenty list.
I must say, if there has ever been anyone more perfectly designed to follow the Christian faith than the hurricane boy, I don’t know who it might be. You see, in the Christian faith, we believe that no matter the sin it can be forgiven and one can still make the pathway to heaven upon repentance and true faith in Jesus. You could live your life robbing banks, but then seek forgiveness and have a true conversion moments after being gunned down in the streets and still make heaven’s gate.
Apparently the hurricane believes the same system is in place concerning Santa and gifts.
I make this observation based mainly on a recent trip to the local Mexican restaurant in Dawson. I went to the restaurant with my wife, the 8-year-old princess, and the little boy who was swirling around like a category one hurricane or at least an F1 tornado. The Mexican restaurant in Dawson, like apparently every Mexican restaurant in the entire United States of America, has a line of gumball machines, machines that give cheap toys such as rings, bouncy balls, etc, and most importantly temporary tattoos.
I don’t pretend to know what all goes on in Mexico but I must assume that every child is heavily tattooed, smacking gum, adorned in cheap jewelry and merrily walking along while bouncing bouncy balls.
Needless to say, the temptation to purchase such items is overwhelming and I spend most of my time at the restaurant telling the kids they will not be purchasing anything from the machine. On this particular occasion, we had also met another couple with their two children of similar ages and sex. After a minute or so, I noticed the hurricane was floating around in the restaurant with a ten dollar bill in his hand. I had not the slightest idea what he was doing with $10, but I would soon discover as he returned to the table with about eight tattoos, four or five bouncy balls, rings, and other ornaments.
He looked like a traveling salesman. If he had added a couple of key chains I’d have thought I was at Dollar Tree.
Before I could inquire as to what in God’s name was he doing with all of these items, he began to give some of the items to the other children that were with us in the restaurant. Well, I must admit I was somewhat impressed that he was sharing this bounty with the other children.
After complimenting him on his kind heart, I asked him what made him decide to give the items to the other children and also where did he end up getting $10 to begin with?
He replied with great excitement, “Oh, I didn’t mind giving the stuff away. I stole the $10 from my sister.”
Ahh, I finally realize what one day he will become, a little Robin Hood.
I suspect the hurricane was trying to impress Santa Claus with his giving heart, although I’m not sure how he will explain the $10 caper. I haven’t told the 8-year-old princess yet. For one, she’ll be devastated and probably make the little hurricane go down to the next altar call at church so that the preacher can lay hands on him.
More importantly, however, I don’t exactly know how she had $10.
I think I’ll wait until after Christmas to ask about that one.
Contact columnist T. Gamble at firstname.lastname@example.org