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This year, I shall resolve to not ...

Mac Gordon

Mac Gordon

Mitch Clarke, Blakely native, good Methodist and esteemed editor of a daily newspaper in North Georgia, took a radical approach for his first column of 2012. Instead of listing resolutions and hopes and dreams for the new year, he wrote about things which he has no plans to do.

I like that idea. So with apologies to Mitch, please swim with me in this sea of negativity:

  • I will not watch one episode of “Real Hot Housewives of Atlanta.”
  • When Newt Gingrich opens his mouth, I’m not paying him the first ounce of attention. Specifically, I’m not going to believe him when he says that he was never a lobbyist.
  • Unless someone can assure me that last spring and summer’s almost complete lack of rainfall in Southwest Georgia was an aberration (about 6 inches total for the year where I live), I’m not planting the first tomato or one stick of okra this year. And I had the garden of the year in 2011 using sprinklers.
  • I don’t care if they play 60 games or 160, I will not watch more than 10 minutes of even one professional basketball game this year.
  • I refute any notion that the Georgia Bulldogs will compete for a national football championship in 2013, especially after watching that fiasco in the recent bowl game.
  • If Herman Cain appears again on some TV political talk show and mentions “9-9-9” as the way to resolve the nation’s financial woes, I won’t hesitate to switch channels.
  • I still am not accepting one word of Newt Gingrich’s claim that he made $1.6 million off of the mortgage re-selling giant Freddie Mac as their “historian.”
  • I am not going to stop laughing if Mitt Romney makes rank-and-file Republicans believe that he is a true conservative.
  • There are no plans of mine to audition for “Dancing With the Stars.”
  • That new law supposedly passed by Congress to turn down the volume on television commercials? I will not believe it until I hear some evidence and I’ve heard none yet.
  • If former Auburn basketball player Charles Barkley appears again as a pro football analyst, I’m not going to be receptive.
  • Traversing Atlanta at rush hour is not something in my immediate plans.
  • Those new reality shows featuring plumbers, moonshiners, pawnbrokers, rental sleuths and tow truckers are not for me. The channel changer will not be out of my sight.
  • I will not fuss over being behind log trucks. They are money in the bank.
  • I will not believe the nation’s economy is back until we have 5 percent unemployment.
  • I will not watch any television show featuring the Kardashians. I would ask who they are, but I really don’t care.
  • You’ll never make me believe that FOX News is “fair and balanced.”
  • As ridiculous as the GOP debates have been, I would not be surprised if in the end the Republicans nominate Romney for president and — hold your nose — Gingrich as his veep. Sure losers, in my opinion.
  • I will not be unhappy when the presidential election is over.
  • I do not plan to write another column like this one.

Mac Gordon is a retired reporter who lives near Blakely and writes an occasional opinion column for The Albany Herald.

Comments

agirl_25 2 years, 3 months ago

Well since there is NOT a “Real Hot Housewives of Atlanta" but THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA, is that your sneaky way of saying you WILL watch it......hurl hurl hurl and hehehehe. How can anyone watch that garbage. I must agree with you on most of the other points that you laid out, especially the one about the Lizard Man, Newt. By the way, I have traversed Atlanta during rush hour (buffs nails on chest)......try it, it is something to tell the grandkids. All the others are easy for me to NOT do also.....I despise sports and *reality TV", would not watch the Kardashians if I was paid. I am shocked beyond belief that you do not believe FOX does not present fair and unbiased news....gasp gasp!!! Funny piece, Mac, thanks for the laugh with my morning coffee.

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Sister_Ruby 2 years, 3 months ago

Mac Gordon is a Dope of the Highest Order. Please quit printing his crap.

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Cartman 2 years, 3 months ago

lol. C'mon Sis. Don't be bashful about telling us what you really think of him.

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