Moping doesn’t mobilize.
This thought occurred to me recently when I temporarily succumbed to a moment of frustration over the demands on my time. As I was sitting, sulking about all that I had to do and the little time that I had to do it, I realized that I was, well, sitting. I was moping and not moving.
It is not the first time I’ve been guilty of moping. I mean, it happens and, let me be clear, I think that it’s OK to give yourself permission for a “moment of mope.” Sometimes we fight so hard to not give ourselves space to just feel what we feel that it becomes exhausting to keep up the act. Taking a moment to be in a moping place might reveal some things that you need to get moving again. What can become problematic, however, is when the moment turns into a much longer moment and then a much, much longer one where you find yourself still sitting-moping.
Moping can alert us that we are feeling dissatisfied, frustrated, unhappy, and/or disappointed about something in our experience. This is why it can be helpful to acknowledge when we are in a moping place as opposed to trying to deny it or cut it out. As I mentioned earlier, this can be exhausting. In keeping with that point, I tend to believe that when we are in tune with what’s happening with us, our energies are better utilized by giving attention to our experience.
If you are in a moping place today, chances are you’ve visited this place before. How long were you there? How did you find your way out then? What’s different about this time? What was happening just before you found yourself there?
I think that these kinds of questions are an important piece to figuring out how it is that you’ve managed to be in that moping place and to discovering the arsenal of resources you have to get moving again. That is the goal, really, to become mobilized. When we stay in that moping place for too long, we can become paralyzed and inaction breeds more inaction. After taking a “moment to mope” and going through your process, whatever that is for you, a way to go from paralyzed to mobilized is to simply do something.
If your experience was similar to mine, you might start with just one small task and use the feeling of accomplishment you get from finishing it to perhaps start another, and then another. Maybe you are in a moping place because of some other experience such as losing a job, strained financial situation, loss of relationship/friendship, etc. In these instances, it might be useful to use your energy to initiate a job search, create a new budget, or reflect on how you’ve changed/grown as a person and use this new knowledge to position yourself for new relationships/friendships.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to your particular situation or experience, but what any approach will have at its core is a magnification of the resources you already have within you or in your reach. Once you mobilize those resources, there’s no moping place that can keep you down.
Contact columnist LaTonya Dunn at firstname.lastname@example.org.