As we all know, technology is rapidly evolving such that what was very useful a few years ago can become obsolete almost overnight. I am constantly amazed at how something that seemed to be perfect a few years ago can become “old hat” a few years later.
I suppose this has been occurring since the beginning of the world but it seems to be escalating. Slide rules once dominated the mathematics and engineering fields until the calculator came and wiped them out. The telegraph seemed like a pretty good invention until the telephone showed up. Pay phones were pretty handy until everyone got a cell phone. On and on it goes.
I have particularly noticed that people in today’s world are more and more likely to disconnect their land line telephones and depend solely on cell phones. I have read reports that we are fast moving toward a society where a majority of people no longer have a land line at home and the only means of communication is the cell phone. I probably need to follow this trend given that I rarely use my phone at home, I never answer my phone at home, and it may be a week before I check my answering machine. Most of the calls I receive on my land line are from charities seeking donations, political parties wanting donations, and people I really don’t want to hear from to begin with.
I guess I could save money if I had my land line disconnected. Unfortunately, I cannot have my land line disconnected. I need my phone at home so that when I cannot find my cell phone, I can call from my land line and find out where my cell phone is located. Cell phones are very crafty creatures and they will hide in the cushions of the sofa, retire to coat pockets that are rarely worn and slip into kitchen drawers that have not been opened for months. They will also hide in the car, or occasionally go visit a friend or relative. The only way to find the cell phone is to call from the land line and wait to hear the phone ringing.
Cell phones will also occasionally make a break for it and jump out of your hand and into the toilet. Being the crafty creatures that they are, they will normally wait for the perfect opportunity before attempting this maneuver. In most cases they will wait until you have been to a party where someone is touting how great it would be if you would simply take a shot of honey flavored bourbon.
After unequivocally refusing to do such a thing, but you relent to prove that you are still able to hang with the youngsters and, three shots later, the next thing you know your cell phone is at the bottom of the toilet. Cell phones may be crafty, but they are not very smart when it comes to jumping in the toilet because they do not realize this is the death blow for the cherished cell phone.
But back to finding the cell phone. I also have a computer program, which my secretary installed on my computer at the office, that will locate my cell phone when lost. I guess I could disconnect my land line and use the computer program, except the computer is not at my house and most of the time I need to try and find my cell phone while I am still at the house.
More importantly, I also do not know how to use the program that was installed to help me find my cell phone in case it decided to hide beneath the shrubbery beside the dog, in the flower bed, next to the pool house. So, if I did not have a land line, I would need to call my secretary — on what I don’t know since I’d have no land line, the cell phone is lost and there are no longer any pay phones — have her come to the office, pull up any information that is available to find my cell phone, leave the office and then go get my cell phone.
I just don’t know. It’s enough to make a guy try some honey bourbon.
Contact columnist T. Gamble at firstname.lastname@example.org.