Life has many lessons that one must learn over the years. Some are relatively simple such as don’t put your hand on a hot stove. Other lessons may take time to learn and some you would not even consider until the situation arises. Apparently that is the case concerning Marek Olszewski from Austria who learned an important lesson that you should never go to the dentist if the dentist happens to be your ex girlfriend.
According to Yahoo News, Marek was suffering from a bad toothache and decided to go see dentist Anna Mackowiak. This may not have been that bad of a decision except for the fact that he had broken up with Anna only a few days prior to scheduling the dental appointment. Apparently the breakup was not expected by Anna and Anna may have had revenge on her mind. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned comes to mind.
Anna decided the best course of action for the toothache was to heavily sedate Marek, and in her own words, “I saw him lying there and I thought, what a bastard, and decided to take all of his teeth out.” At this point I guess there is small consolation that Anna was not his urologist.
Marek, having already made the decision to visit the dentist who was his ex girlfriend, further bolstered his claim to a high IQ by stating that he awoke from sedation and “I knew something was wrong because when I woke up I couldn’t feel any teeth.” Anna responded by telling him “your mouth is numb and you won’t be able to feel anything for a while but you would need to see a specialist.” He stated, “I didn’t have any reason to doubt her, I mean I thought she was a professional.”
Well, I would agree that Marek needs to see a specialist. I would suggest intensive psychiatric treatment followed by a few rounds of electric shock. I will bypass the obvious poor judgment in using his ex girlfriend as a dentist and go to an even more obvious point. I don’t care if you’ve been put in a medically induced coma for six months, if you awaken and cannot feel any teeth in your mouth, no amount of being told that your mouth is numb would convince me somehow that I still have teeth. Marek, on the other hand, apparently simply said, “ Duh huh, I guess my tongue is numb and once it wakes up I’ll be able to feel the teeth that I currently cannot feel because of all the bandages and blood in my mouth.”
Adding insult to injury, Marek also reports that his new girlfriend, which may very well be the reason that he no longer had his old girlfriend, and as an indirect result apparently the reason he no longer has any teeth, broke up with him because she does not wish to go out with a guy who has no teeth. Recent surveys show, that of 100 women surveyed, having no teeth ranks as the number two reason needed to dump your mate. Number one was being dumb enough to trust your ex girlfriend dentist.
So, while Marek now watches television eating oatmeal every night, he should remember that ex girlfriends and ex wives are like rattlesnakes, they can be viewed from afar but they should never be trusted.
Contact columnist T. Gamble at firstname.lastname@example.org.