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Money makes world go round

T. Gamble

T. Gamble

The 9-year-old princess girl was expounding on the qualities she felt essential in a marriage partner. “He’d need to be caring, daddy, and a good person. He’d need to love animals and love God, too, daddy.” I could feel a tear building up in my eye. The sweet, sensitive, all caring little princess then finished with the grand finale, the clincher, “and own a bunch of land and be rich too.”

I damn near wept uncontrollably.

Yes, it appears even the princess realizes what makes the world go round and round. Of course, some people will tell you money is not the most important thing in life. Most of the time the person telling you this is already worth $50 million, so it’s easy for them to say that money is not all that important. Or, the person telling you doesn’t have two nickels to rub together because they’ve been too sorry to work their entire life, don’t wish to admit they’ve been a failure, so they let you know that it’s not about the money. And, by the way, can I hold $20 until next Friday?

Politicians will tell you it’s not about the money, but I seem to notice that the candidate that raises the most money usually wins. For some crazy reason television owners don’t seem willing to run campaign advertisements without being paid. Sports teams will tell you the same thing as well. They will say that it doesn’t matter about the money, it’s the team you put on the field. Yet I have noticed the teams with the most money seem to be able to pay for the players who need the most money, so that they can have the most fans in the stands to pay the money to pay the players who get the most money so the next year they can buy more players with more money and win again.

College football will tell you it is not about the money but about the student-athlete. I’ve noticed that the teams with the biggest stadiums and the biggest TV contracts seem to be the ones that do the best. And speaking of student-athletes, what an oxymoron. The average college football team does not have five people that could gain entrance into their college program on academic merit alone. Each college has a special curriculum particularly designed for college athletes to enroll so they can stay academically qualified. TV used to give the name of the player starting in each position, his status such as a freshman, sophomore, etc., and the major he was studying while in school. I’ve noticed they have quit telling the major over the last few years. Before they quit giving the majors, however, I also noticed that almost all athletes majored in the same academic field. Now this field would be different from university to university, but it was crystal clear that whatever field the athletes were involved in would be considered the easiest curriculum on the campus.

Since money matters so much, I was really intrigued to read that California has now passed a law whereby additional people can be placed on a birth certificate as parents, in addition to the mother and father, or can be added at a later date if it is determined they are some type of care provider for the person. I think this rule evolved because of children now being born to parents who are not together and who often have other partners rather than the ones whom they procreated with. At any rate, in California you can now have more than one mother or father and not get rid of the originals. I don’t want to get rid of my original mother and father, but I would like to add Bill Gates as a second father. I like Bill Gates. I think he loves animals and is a good person. Oh, he also owns a bunch of land, and I think he is rich. I think the princess would be proud of my choice of an add-on parent.

Contact columnist T. Gamble at t@colliergamble.com.

Comments

Sister_Ruby 1 year, 9 months ago

The "U-Turn King" beneath the sheets...............thanks for another trip.

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waltspecht 1 year, 9 months ago

Is that how he keeps it so shinny?

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