Just when I thought Prince Harry and the British Royal Family were through with further public humiliations, the news is now abuzz that Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, and commonly known as Kate, has been photographed topless.
The royal family quickly went to court to try to stop French Journalist from publishing these topless photographs. In fairness to Kate, it is much more common in Europe for women to cavort on beaches topless. I wholeheartedly agree with this approach to beach time enjoyment, except as it applies to my 9-year-old princess daughter, who is being fitted for a burka as I speak.
I can say that I am at least encouraged that the trend in the royal family is toward good looking, in-shape nudity. I am no fan of male nudity, but I did notice that Prince Harry appeared to be in relatively good shape as he played billiards naked and, although I have not seen the photographs of Kate, assume she also is fit and in shape.
My fear is that this trend will explode into a royal nudie exhibition contest, sort of like when streaking took off in the late ‘70s and people would run around college campuses naked. If I find out that Prince Charles is about to be published in the nude, I may need to go hide in a bomb shelter for a week or two.
Hopefully, like Barney Fife says, they can “nip this in the bud.” If not, the royal family may become one giant nudist colony. And, before you know it, the English people always follow the trends of the royal family and half the public will join them.
In related news, an associate professor at the University of Southern California, Eric Rice, Ph.D., has completed research concerning teens involved in “sexting.” If you don’t know what this means, this is an activity in which one teenager sends either a sexually explicit message or a sexually explicit photograph by cell phone to another. Apparently, this activity is rather widespread.
I guess going to the homecoming dance has gone the way of the sock hop as teenagers seek other means of stimulation.
Now, the amazing part of this study is the fact that Professor Rice performed the study to determine if those teenagers who send sexually explicit messages or sexually explicit photographs were also more likely to be having sex than those who do not send such material.
I am sure you, like me, will be shocked to learn that the study reported that teens who were sexting were more likely to be sexually active and more likely to engage in risky sex.
My, my, my. It takes at least a Ph.D. to be able to figure that one out.
In fact, the study says that if they sext, they are seven times more likely to be sexually active.
I suggest Dr. Rice next do a study to determine if teens that go to bars are more likely to drink than those that do not. How about doing a study to determine whether those who go to church are more likely to believe in God than those who do not? Maybe, study to see if people who own horses are more likely to ride horses. How about doing a study to see if people who live where it snows are more likely to ski than folks who live at the beach?
Finally, let’s do a study to see if royalty is more likely to be photographed nude than non-royalty.
While we wait on the results, I think I’ll change my princess to maybe a nun.
Contact columnist T. Gamble at firstname.lastname@example.org.