OPINION: Men might move faster than women, but they mature more slowly
Guys are just smart enough to get themselves in trouble, sometimes at breakneck speed.
OPINION: Mascots of the two championship teams are less than imposing
If Auburn slips much further I fear next year we will play in the Dollar General Bowl, followed by the Dollar Tree Bowl.
OPINION: Resolutions are made to be broken
There are many things not to be done in 2015.
OPINION: Is ho-ho-ho on the way out-out-out?
The politically correct crowd is most likely only a year or two away from auto correcting our Christmas traditions.
OPINION: Dumb TV at least makes you feel smarter than what you are watching
Spending too much time in front of the TV leaves you short in the accomplishment department.
OPINION: Rabid Discovery Channel viewers express anger when snake-eats-man episode does not deliver
Viewers expressed outrage that the lead-up indicated the man would be swallowed, but, instead, he was only almost crushed to death. Until this event, I did not realize Discovery Channel viewers were such a violent lot.
OPINION: Im not really stupid, just infected
Researchers find a virus can decrease a person’s IQ by seven to nine points. Apparently it already is an epidemic in Washington, D.C.
OPINION: Even murderer Charles Mason has a shot at marital bliss
I read with amazement that Charles Manson is soon to marry 26-year-old Afton Elaine Burton, or Star, as she is most often called.
OPINION: In the 1960s, dentists seemed to be more ominous
When I was a child, if given a choice between being buried to my neck in a fire ant bed or going to the dentist, I would have chosen the fire ants.
OPINION: Middle age has a way of dimming your view
I was one of the lucky ones, being a little over 50 before my eyes suddenly revolted, turned against me and forced me to order food in fancy restaurants by playing point the finger at an item and hope for the best when they bring the plate.
OPINION: A Halloween carnival by any other name is still processed-sugar sweet
Forget Santa. Give out the “wrong” treats and you’ll get on the kids’ naughty list.
OPINION: Mountain climbing just does not have much appeal
Let me know when they get a driving tour for ascending Mt. Everest going.
OPINION: The U.S. opted to import this deadly illness
Ebola is one import America could live without.
OPINION: Its hard to look too tacky at a Florida theme park
Universal has great rides, all designed to see if a human being can withstand being upside down at the speed of light while turning at a 90-degree angle. The Hurricane and Princess fare pretty well on such rides. I, on the other hand, now need a full time chiropractor.
OPINION: Nudity on the first date can cause some problems, especially with the first dance
As a general rule, blind dates are a bad idea. Blind dates that involve the couple being naked and filmed by a cable TV crew are even worse.