T. Gamble


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T. GAMBLE: An auto corrected Christmas wish

OPINION: Is ho-ho-ho on the way out-out-out?

The politically correct crowd is most likely only a year or two away from auto correcting our Christmas traditions.

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T. GAMBLE: A 'Squatchy' accomplishment in 2014

OPINION: Dumb TV at least makes you feel smarter than what you are watching

Spending too much time in front of the TV leaves you short in the accomplishment department.

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T. GAMBLE: Promise of man being eaten by snake a crushing disappointment

OPINION: Rabid Discovery Channel viewers express anger when snake-eats-man episode does not deliver

Viewers expressed outrage that the lead-up indicated the man would be swallowed, but, instead, he was only almost crushed to death. Until this event, I did not realize Discovery Channel viewers were such a violent lot.

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T. GAMBLE: Stupid virus a new epidemic

OPINION: Im not really stupid, just infected

Researchers find a virus can decrease a person’s IQ by seven to nine points. Apparently it already is an epidemic in Washington, D.C.

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T. GAMBLE: Maybe there is someone for everyone

OPINION: Even murderer Charles Mason has a shot at marital bliss

I read with amazement that Charles Manson is soon to marry 26-year-old Afton Elaine Burton, or Star, as she is most often called.

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T. GAMBLE: Dentist visits sure have changed

OPINION: In the 1960s, dentists seemed to be more ominous

When I was a child, if given a choice between being buried to my neck in a fire ant bed or going to the dentist, I would have chosen the fire ants.

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T. GAMBLE: Well, I didn't see that one coming

OPINION: Middle age has a way of dimming your view

I was one of the lucky ones, being a little over 50 before my eyes suddenly revolted, turned against me and forced me to order food in fancy restaurants by playing point the finger at an item and hope for the best when they bring the plate.

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T. GAMBLE: Its still all about the candy

OPINION: A Halloween carnival by any other name is still processed-sugar sweet

Forget Santa. Give out the “wrong” treats and you’ll get on the kids’ naughty list.

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T. GAMBLE: No way I'll Gamble on mountain climbing

OPINION: Mountain climbing just does not have much appeal

Let me know when they get a driving tour for ascending Mt. Everest going.

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T. GAMBLE: Ebola thing has me in a tizzy

OPINION: The U.S. opted to import this deadly illness

Ebola is one import America could live without.

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T. GAMBLE: Unload the wallet and load up on fun

OPINION: Its hard to look too tacky at a Florida theme park

Universal has great rides, all designed to see if a human being can withstand being upside down at the speed of light while turning at a 90-degree angle. The Hurricane and Princess fare pretty well on such rides. I, on the other hand, now need a full time chiropractor.

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T. GAMBLE: First date not the time to bare all

OPINION: Nudity on the first date can cause some problems, especially with the first dance

As a general rule, blind dates are a bad idea. Blind dates that involve the couple being naked and filmed by a cable TV crew are even worse.

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T. GAMBLE: OK, preacher, here comes the wave

OPINION: Applause at church services still can be uncomfortable

We’re still stuck between modern times, where it is OK to applaud church activity, and old-time doctrine, where clapping in church was considered giving the person praise and not God.

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T. GAMBLE: Pass the cup, the end is near

OPINION: The dreaded red solo cup prophecy comes to a head at the Miss America pageant

Every generation has those who predict the end of the world is near. Finally, a sign that cannot be denied has appeared — on national TV, to boot.

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T. GAMBLE: Do you want cheese on your cheeseburger?

OPINION: Fast-food workers demanding $15 an hour takes the cake

This new movement may actually be much better than Obama’s health care plan in that I will finally be able to quit eating fast food because I will not be able to afford it.