T. Gamble

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Trip to Sweden was educational

Opinion column

I once spent most of a summer in Sweden under the guise of attending a summer law school program there. I did not learn very much about the law, but the experience was nevertheless educational. Women were prone to swim at local town pools topless, which greatly increased the odds that I, too, would be lounging around the town pool on any given day.

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Don’t get run down getting fit

Features Column

Times are always changing and one generation is left behind while another takes over. What once was considered sacred becomes taboo and what once was considered ridiculous becomes the norm.

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I’m through with the drive-thru

Features Column

I see where the royal couple ignored my well-intentioned suggestion that they name the royal baby Junior and instead chose the predictable, boring name of George. They will live to regret missing the opportunity to bond with the unwashed and rednecks, further widening the gap between royals and the common folk.

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That’s Sir Junior to you, bubba!

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Finally, in an event I was awaiting with as much anticipation as next year’s curling championships, news comes that the royal baby has been born.

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‘Lone Ranger’ missing out on silver at the box office

Features Column

I see from press reports that the new movie “The Lone Ranger” is not doing as well as Disney hoped when first released. I guess that is an understatement, given that Disney estimates they may lose as much as $250 million on the production.

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Baby names get new direction

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As the Fourth of July is upon us, I recognize the great sacrifices made by our forefathers in establishing this greatest country on Earth. That is, of course, as opposed to all the great countries not on Earth. We have many ways to remember these historic men, monuments like the cleverly named Washington Monument. We spent a ton of money and years to make it and spent about 30 seconds naming it.

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Let’s keep that border secure, eh?

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Monday the U.S. Senate passed a bill to “toughen security” on its borders as part of a plan to then pass some type “path to citizenship for illegal aliens” (excuse me, undocumented immigrates or whatever they are called these days).

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Son gets big whiff of responsibility

Features column

The 8-year-old Hurricane boy was in a reflective mood. It is not often that a hurricane stops to reflect so I listened. “Dad, do you remember when I use to call the Piggly Wiggly the Pig Mart?”

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Federal Officials scouring Internet’s vast wasteland

Features Column

We now live in the enlightened age of electronic wonder, which means I can look you up on Facebook and find out that Publix no longer has the cheapest steaks and you messed up and bought them there before realizing that they were 40 cents a pound cheaper at Food Lion.

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Charlie Daniels still fiddlin’ hot

Features Column

This past weekend, I went to Wild Adventures with the wife, 8-year-old Hurricane boy and 9-year-old Princess.

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Put my kid in there, coach

Features Columnist

Well, I know summer is almost here because the 7- and 8-year-old machine-pitch baseball league is holding the year-end tournament to decide which team managed to sneak in the most 9- and 10-year-olds to win the tournament.

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Common man’s buying guide

Features column

Recently I was reviewing a brochure with hundreds of tracts of land for sale and also the same number of houses.

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Possum gave country music meaning

Features Columnist

The 8-year-old Hurricane Boy has been strangely quiet as of late. Of course, that probably means a Category 5 eruption could be around the bend at any moment.

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Cop pull you over? Just be nice

Features column

Poor Reese Witherspoon. She spends all her life trying to develop a positive role model and then loses her cool with an Atlanta police officer.

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Rest easy, America, the FBI will handle it

Features Column

The late great Lewis Grizzard once wrote a book titled “Elvis is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself.” Well, I don’t feel so great myself, but don’t tell thousands of Elvis impersonators across the country that Elvis is dead. Every town with a population of at least 100,000 has an Elvis impersonator, and they even have a yearly contest to name the best each year.