Possum gave country music meaning
Features Columnist
The 8-year-old Hurricane Boy has been strangely quiet as of late. Of course, that probably means a Category 5 eruption could be around the bend at any moment.
Cop pull you over? Just be nice
Features column
Poor Reese Witherspoon. She spends all her life trying to develop a positive role model and then loses her cool with an Atlanta police officer.
Rest easy, America, the FBI will handle it
Features Column
The late great Lewis Grizzard once wrote a book titled “Elvis is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself.” Well, I don’t feel so great myself, but don’t tell thousands of Elvis impersonators across the country that Elvis is dead. Every town with a population of at least 100,000 has an Elvis impersonator, and they even have a yearly contest to name the best each year.
‘Fathead’ enters belly fat battle
Features Column
It never ceases to amaze me the lengths average Americans will go to avoid taking responsibility for their own lives.
Sears' photo demise a negative development
Features Column
If you need any further proof that our society is crumbling at its core, I now read that Sears has decided to discontinue family portraits.
Women at the Masters, change is coming
Features Column
By the time you read this article, one of the great events in America will have begun its annual destruction of egos of the greatest golfers in the world.
Loyalty comes at the price of a rub
Features Column
I am by all accounts an avid dog lover. I’ve written about dogs, slept with dogs, confessed my soul to dogs, and sworn allegiance to my dog.
Rodman’s diplomacy has Sheen to it
Features Column
It has taken me several weeks to digest the news that Dennis Rodman recently visited the most closed-off nation in the world — North Korea.
Letter to Santa a bid for biddies
Features Column
The letter was sweet and to the point, as are most letters written to Santa Claus.
Just pick a card, any card
Opinion column
I am currently overwhelmed by the need of every business in America to learn every detail about my existence.
Food insecurity whets my appetite
Newest government statistics indicate 40 percent of all Americans are now classified as obese — 88 percent if you are in Walmart.
Being saddest city something to ‘wine’ about
Opinion column
I, like hundreds of people in south Georgia, was shocked to learn Albany was recently designated the No. 2 saddest city in America.
Kids becoming prisoners of TV
New Zealand researchers recently reported the results of a study of 1,000 children and the affect long-term TV watching had on them. The study was published in the medical journal Pediatrics.
Big game has strange model behavior
Features column
I like 200 million other American citizens and 50 million illegal aliens, sat down Sunday night anxious to witness the biggest event of the year.
Arming New Yorkers might help
Features column
Well, it took a few years but we finally have the great gun debate going on throughout the land. Ban them all or keep them all; depends on whether you live in Dawson, Georgia or New York City as to where you fall on the issue.
Wanted: One adventurous woman
In case the Taliban and Al Franken aren’t enough to worry about, Harvard Professor George Church recently announced he wishes to clone a Neanderthal man.
Armstrong apology won’t clear the ledger
I would like to go on record stating I have never used performance enhancing drugs in my life. I now feel secure that no one will try to reclaim my “Spirit Award” trophy, “Most Improved Player” award trophy or my “Hustle” award, all obtained drug-free. Who knows? If I had chosen to use steroids, I might now have a trophy room full of Team Spirit awards.
Resolutions are made to be broken
Features column
With the arrival of the New Year comes also the arrival of broken New Year's Resolutions. Probably top on the list is any dietary pledge ever made, from cutting back on drinking to quitting fried food to regular exercise. We make 'em and then we break 'em.
Next title’s in the oven for Auburn
Ah, the new year has now begun, and I would be remiss if I did not comment on my beloved Auburn Tigers and their decision to suspend football for the past 2012 football season.
Motivational speaker tells of Vegas secret
Well, the holidays always bring a surprise or two but thankfully not nearly as large a surprise as Suzy Favor Hamilton revealed.
Motivational speaker tells of Vegas secret
Features column
Well, the holidays always bring a surprise or two but thankfully not nearly as large a surprise as Suzy Favor Hamilton revealed.
Ovens for boys a half-baked idea
Features Column
In the never ending effort to pretend that everyone is exactly the same and to prove that no one can say anything about anybody without being either prejudiced, stereotyping, or profiling, I see where a petition has been made to Easy- Bake Oven to include boys on their boxes in advertising.
I am thankful for Parton and being an American
Features column
Well, Thanksgiving has now come and gone but reasons for being thankful continue. I’m first thankful to read that Dolly Parton has now come forward and denied rumors and allegations that she is gay.
Thankful for the love of an Angel
Opinion column
It was love at first sight, at least for her. But who could blame her staring intently back at me? After all, what’s not to love? Dark raven black hair, steely dark eyes, and an anxious gaze of anticipation all told me this would be a match made in heaven.
Election’s done; have a slice of fruitcake
Opinion Column
Well, the presidential election has finally ended, and now you will no longer be entertained by an avalanche of ads.
Maybe America won’t miss a beat
By the time this article is read, the presidential election will be decided. I can’t possibly predict the results, but it got me to reflecting back to simpler times when I was a much younger man.
Come this Wednesday, let the horror scenarios begin
Opinion Column
I traveled this past weekend to Hilton Head to visit my wife’s relatives. The 7-year-old Hurricane boy and 9-year-old princess found out we were leaving for the beach and ran the car down before I could get out of the driveway.
Here’s some change you can believe in
Opinion Column
Two weeks ago, France celebrated one of its great achievements in history. No, it was not the fact they managed to last 10 days before Germany routed them in World War II, nor was it celebrating the French 32-hour work week and 54 weekly paychecks in a 52-week year. Those accomplishments are already being continually celebrated in France while the Germans work overtime to pay so the French do not have to work.
Brother, can you spare a tire?
Features column
It is now official. America is going to hell in a handbasket. This fact is very disturbing and it may even be more serious than I know because, to tell you the truth, I don’t know what in the world going to hell in a handbasket really means to begin with.
What the doom was I just saying?
Features column
The 7-year-old Hurricane boy is currently playing football in a tackle football league. He’s playing what we use to refer to as midget football. I guess it is no longer politically correct to say midget football and I’m not sure what I am supposed to call the game he is playing.
Money makes world go round
The 9-year-old princess girl was expounding on the qualities she felt essential in a marriage partner. “He’d need to be caring, daddy, and a good person. He’d need to love animals and love God, too, daddy.” I could feel a tear building up in my eye. The sweet, sensitive, all caring little princess then finished with the grand finale, the clincher, “and own a bunch of land and be rich too.”
No crown required when I get to a retirement home
As all men know, time marches on. Although I do not consider myself old, I realize that somewhere down the line I may be faced with the prospect placement in a nursing home or as more fashionably titled these days, an assisted living home.
Kate joins the royal nudity club
Just when I thought Prince Harry and the British Royal Family were through with further public humiliations, the news is now abuzz that Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, and commonly known as Kate, has been photographed topless.
Prince Harry and Auburn fans are facing hard times
As described in a previous article, Prince Harry of Britain romped in the buff throughout Las Vegas and used the judgment of Lindsey Lohan allowing one of the women with him to take pictures of the joyful occasion.
Prince’s Vegas ‘secret’ gets bared
It was some time ago when the 7-year-old hurricane boy was not quite yet six. We were visiting an old friend, both in his age and the years we’d shared together.
Women at Augusta National?
I recently read the following headline from U.S. News & World Report concerning an article by Health Day reporter Alan Mozes. The headline read, “College Students Who Binge Drink Say They’re Happier.”
If you must drink too much, wear pants
There are many mysteries in the universe for which there seems to be no answer. How did they build the great pyramids and why?
Wholesome TV just a pipe dream now
Recently I read where Don Grady, the actor who played the character Robbie on the long-running TV series “My Three Sons,” died.
Cussing works across the generations
As a general rule, I do not spend much time envying what someone else has. I must admit, however, I do envy those rare guys who keep all their tools neatly aligned in their shop.
Family pet decides fate of baby goose
The 8-year-old princess girl has been on a real rampage to salvage the world. The princess would make Sally Struthers look like a cold-hearted grinch.
San Fran laws strips away modesty
The beautiful city of San Francisco, Calif., which gave us such wonderful treasures as Nancy Pelosi and America’s first Gay Day Parade, has now added another feather in its hat. It seems that San Francisco, by law, allows anyone to walk the public streets of San Francisco in the nude and to enter any business establishment that serves the public, nude as well.
Maybe there's an award for the most trophies
Last week, I went down to Destin, Fla., to attend the Georgia Press Association's awards dinner. The awards dinner is designed to give awards to newspapers for excellence in coverage, articles written, editorials, etc. I was a beneficiary of one of the awards and will not bore you with the details. Rather, I noticed a growing trend concerning awards.
I ain't just playing possum here, folks
I, like many Americans, have now decided that I will be dropping out of America's labor force. At least, I intend to drop out from my current position as a small-town lawyer and try to move my life into another direction.
‘Follow the leader’ isn’t very relaxing
While vacationing at the beach, I have noticed a few phenomenons which I think are universal to the human race.
‘Thrones’ gets a heads up politically
Over the past few months, my wife and I became enthralled watching the HBO mini-series “Game of Thrones.” For those who are watching the show, you know what it is about.
Friends move with winds of time
The little 7-year-old hurricane boy is sad. There is nothing much worse than seeing a sad hurricane. If this continues, he might become a tropical depression. He's sad because one of his good friends may not be returning to his school next year.
New Yorkers face soda pop cops
In case you needed another reason to avoid going to New York City, Mayor Bloomberg has proposed a ban on serving sodas and other sugary drinks at restaurants, delis, sports arenas and movie theaters if the drink is more than 16 ounces.
The word gay, conjures up so many thoughts
I was sitting down to watch TV the other night when the 7-year-old hurricane boy looked me straight in the eye and said, “Daddy, is Justin Bieber gay?”
Summertime's nothing to snipe at
This past week at church the younger children sang a few songs at the 11 o'clock service. On this particular occasion, the kids met about an hour before service and practiced the songs they would sing. There had been no practice previously, so they had to learn the songs that morning prior to singing.
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