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T. Gamble

Stories by T.

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T. GAMBLE: An auto corrected Christmas wish

OPINION: Is ho-ho-ho on the way out-out-out?

The politically correct crowd is most likely only a year or two away from auto correcting our Christmas traditions.

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T. GAMBLE: A 'Squatchy' accomplishment in 2014

OPINION: Dumb TV at least makes you feel smarter than what you are watching

Spending too much time in front of the TV leaves you short in the accomplishment department.

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T. GAMBLE: Promise of man being eaten by snake a crushing disappointment

OPINION: Rabid Discovery Channel viewers express anger when snake-eats-man episode does not deliver

Viewers expressed outrage that the lead-up indicated the man would be swallowed, but, instead, he was only almost crushed to death. Until this event, I did not realize Discovery Channel viewers were such a violent lot.

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T. GAMBLE: Stupid virus a new epidemic

OPINION: Im not really stupid, just infected

Researchers find a virus can decrease a person’s IQ by seven to nine points. Apparently it already is an epidemic in Washington, D.C.

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T. GAMBLE: Maybe there is someone for everyone

OPINION: Even murderer Charles Mason has a shot at marital bliss

I read with amazement that Charles Manson is soon to marry 26-year-old Afton Elaine Burton, or Star, as she is most often called.

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T. GAMBLE: Dentist visits sure have changed

OPINION: In the 1960s, dentists seemed to be more ominous

When I was a child, if given a choice between being buried to my neck in a fire ant bed or going to the dentist, I would have chosen the fire ants.

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T. GAMBLE: Well, I didn't see that one coming

OPINION: Middle age has a way of dimming your view

I was one of the lucky ones, being a little over 50 before my eyes suddenly revolted, turned against me and forced me to order food in fancy restaurants by playing point the finger at an item and hope for the best when they bring the plate.

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T. GAMBLE: Its still all about the candy

OPINION: A Halloween carnival by any other name is still processed-sugar sweet

Forget Santa. Give out the “wrong” treats and you’ll get on the kids’ naughty list.

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T. GAMBLE: No way I'll Gamble on mountain climbing

OPINION: Mountain climbing just does not have much appeal

Let me know when they get a driving tour for ascending Mt. Everest going.

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T. GAMBLE: Ebola thing has me in a tizzy

OPINION: The U.S. opted to import this deadly illness

Ebola is one import America could live without.

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T. GAMBLE: Unload the wallet and load up on fun

OPINION: Its hard to look too tacky at a Florida theme park

Universal has great rides, all designed to see if a human being can withstand being upside down at the speed of light while turning at a 90-degree angle. The Hurricane and Princess fare pretty well on such rides. I, on the other hand, now need a full time chiropractor.

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T. GAMBLE: First date not the time to bare all

OPINION: Nudity on the first date can cause some problems, especially with the first dance

As a general rule, blind dates are a bad idea. Blind dates that involve the couple being naked and filmed by a cable TV crew are even worse.

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T. GAMBLE: OK, preacher, here comes the wave

OPINION: Applause at church services still can be uncomfortable

We’re still stuck between modern times, where it is OK to applaud church activity, and old-time doctrine, where clapping in church was considered giving the person praise and not God.

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T. GAMBLE: Pass the cup, the end is near

OPINION: The dreaded red solo cup prophecy comes to a head at the Miss America pageant

Every generation has those who predict the end of the world is near. Finally, a sign that cannot be denied has appeared — on national TV, to boot.

T. GAMBLE: Anger should lie with justice system in Ray Rice case

OPINION: NFL star Ray Rice got off easy in court after decking his wife in an elevator

The only shocking aspect of Ray Rice knocking out his future wife was how shocked the NFL appeared to be that it happened.

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T. GAMBLE: Do you want cheese on your cheeseburger?

OPINION: Fast-food workers demanding $15 an hour takes the cake

This new movement may actually be much better than Obama’s health care plan in that I will finally be able to quit eating fast food because I will not be able to afford it.

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T. GAMBLE: SEC ready for big 'weak'-end

OPINION: Its a big snooze in the Southland on Saturday

Weak opponents make for some weak games.

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T. GAMBLE: What's in stork for the devout?

OPINION: Nineteen kids gives a whole new meaning to being devout

Jill Dillard, who’s mother, Michelle Duggar, has 19 children, looks to be off to a fast, productive start in her own marriage.

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T. GAMBLE: Incentives make voting a win all around

OPINION: With the cash lottery proposed in L.A., everybody wins

The chance for a lottery payout could be just the thing to get voters back to the polls.

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T. GAMBLE: Some accepted truisms not all that true

OPINION: There is at least one sensible reason for jumping off a high object

Many of the things we have accepted as great truths turn out to be bogus.

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T. GAMBLE: An uncensored time was had by all

OPINION: Glowing nuptial reports brush over real life

According to newspaper accounts, the average newlywed just hit the romance jackpot and nothing but clear sailing, fortune and fun await the glowing couple.

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T. GAMBLE: Everyone's caught in the (Inter)net

OPINION: Some 'great inventions' could be done without

There’s no pathway back to the simpler good ol’ days.

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T. GAMBLE: Weathering the SEC prediction season

OPINION: Determining winners and losers entails mulling records both on field and at the police station

Auburn is ready for another run at a national title … or the SEC cellar.

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T. GAMBLE: World Cup provides a good time for napping

OPINION: Soccer fans get excessively excited over boring stuff

According to recent reports, the United States may be finally joining the world in its soccer craze.

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T. GAMBLE: I keep hitting the wrong beach

OPINION: Golf continues to mar otherwise pleasant strolls

Clubs that drive the ball further only make me go deeper in the woods in search of my golf balls.

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T. GAMBLE: Now that is something to celebrate

OPINION: Reard Day is Aug. 4, and bring your wedding ring

For those who say the French have done nothing to celebrate, take a look at what happened on July 5, 1946.

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T. GAMBLE: Change just hinders my progress

OPINION: Why is it that when you get comfortable with something, someone improves it?

The designers of these new-fangled cars have me swigging Geritol at all hours of the day.

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T. GAMBLE: It's new preacher time for Methodist churches

Methodists swap out ministers regularly, unlike Baptists where a pastor is often there for life

We got our new preacher Sunday and, I must admit, I was favorably impressed. I, of course, have to say this or he’ll put me on the pastor parishioner’s committee.

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T. GAMBLE: Disaster strikes at the movie house

OPINION: There is nothing like a giant lizard movie and pricey popcorn on a Sunday afternoon

The disaster at the concession stand is usually worse than anything the hero of a disaster movie has to deal with.

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T. GAMBLE: Hurricane laces up and leaves port

OPINION: There is nothing like peer pressure to advance your basic skills

Football camp is another stage in growing up.

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T. GAMBLE: It was a 'special' moment at the beach

OPINION: When ice cream harkens, what's a little scratched paint?

An expedition to obtain some ice cream cones becomes an expensive and somewhat embarrassing endeavor.

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T. GAMBLE: Matchmaking rules for pro athletes, entertainers

OPINION: You can guess a star's occupation by the woman whos with him

After watching far too much sports, truisms on affairs of the heart emerge.

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T. GAMBLE: Red wine not healthy? I need a drink

OPINION: A study by Johns Hopkins knocks out last two fun health foods

The sad results of a recent study indicates resveratrol, the so-called healthy ingredient in red wine and chocolate, doesn’t actually improve health.

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T. GAMBLE: Think I’ll stick with handshake, fist bumping

Mark McCormack, sociologist at Durham University in Britain just completed a study about heterosexual males and how they interact.

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T. GAMBLE: Some Pig is hogging the sofa

OPINION: Its a classical situation, music-wise at least

Banned to the outdoors, Some Pig formerly known as Valentino has stormed back inside, laying claim to the sunroom sofa.

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T. GAMBLE: You never know when you'll need a jacket

OPINION: A mother's concern over a child being cold disregards such trivialities as the actual temperature

One constant of motherhood is an inate concern that, regardless of how hot it is, a cold front could suddenly rush in and find her child jacketless.

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T. GAMBLE: Rights break out right and left

OPINION: The explosion of rights in the U.S. could lead to a lot of rich, single Americans

If you snooze through history class, you may think your rights are restricted those actually found in the U.S. Constitution and its amendments.

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T. GAMBLE: Fathead unravels spring cleaning chore

OPINION: A dog is a security system worth its weight in baseballs

An inpromptu “Easter egg” hunt before mowing reveals a collection of used chew toys … but no neighbor’s cat.

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T. GAMBLE: When in doubt, just ask again louder

OPINION: Repeating the question will not make me know the answer

When it comes to answering questions, no means no.

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T. GAMBLE: Naked reality leads to close shaves

OPINION: Reality shows include subtle hints that the reality is not real

One can watch the show “Naked and Afraid” to learn how human beings react to extreme conditions, how they adapt and work together, blah blah blah. Or, one can watch it for the reason I do — because it has naked people on it.

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T. GAMBLE: Study examines sticky food quandary

OPINION: The only certain thing is not death or taxes, it is studying what often is the obvious

British study doesn’t instill a need to amend the 5-second rule for dropped food.

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T. GAMBLE: Congress carves the Ten Amendments

OPINION: The Ten Commandments might look different after Congress got through with them

If God had given the Ten Commandments to Congress instead of Moses, they probably would read a whole lot different today.

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T. GAMBLE: Just not cut out to be in this year

OPINION: Being on the cutting edge of fashion this year has a tough requirement

Announcing sexual preferences seems to be the in thing for 2014.

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T. GAMBLE: Illuminating the loss of another freedom

OPINION: What dim bulb had the bright idea to kill the incandescent light bulb?

America is purportedly the land of freedom, if you don’t count the freedom to read by adequate light.

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T. GAMBLE: Take care when swimming with the fishies

OPINION: Manatees, it turns out, are a lot like buddies back home — slow, fat and docile

While manatees seem relatively benign, giant man-sized fish that look hungry are nothing to play with.

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T. GAMBLE: Never go whole hog at an auction

OPINION: Adult beverages and opportunities to bid on boar hogs don not mix

Nothing says Valentine’s day like an 800-pound hog that’s named Valentine.

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T. GAMBLE: FAA has no compassion for the thirsty

OPINION: Drones could be the answer to safely quenching your thirst

FAA drones on for 74 pages about how flying beer in by remote control is against the rules.

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T. GAMBLE: There's 'snow' way we'd take a snow day

OPINION: In my day, we didn't close school for any reason

The losses of real recess, merry-go-rounds and algebra will take their toll on the latest generation.

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T. GAMBLE: Dennis Rodman more than an embarrassment

OPINION: Even the time-honored excuse of drinking too much does not excuse Dennis Rodmans behavior

Dennis Rodman claims North Korean Dictator Kim is really a good guy, despite the executions and imprisonments that he imposes at a whim.

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T. GAMBLE: Ladies, please coordinate those directions

OPINION: Coping with California traffic is hard, especially with conflicting navigators

Dependence on electronic driving guidance is something that needs recalculating.

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