Albany Herald | T. Gamble

Are the good ole days the real thing?

I am always amused, or should I say bemused, when I hear people talking about the good ole days. I'm probably guilty of doing the same thing, but in reality, a lot of the good ole days weren't so good if you look very deeply.

Kids snap up the lessons of life

Late last year, I caught a very small alligator snapping turtle who was trapped in the middle of the highway, severely dehydrated and near death. This snapping turtle was no bigger than my hand, but mean as a snake.

Dignity lost on the slopes for Lurch

After surviving 51 years on this earth, I broke down this past weekend and went snow skiing with the 6 year old boy, 7 year old girl, and my wife. I have never once considered such a thing. I like hot weather and cold beer.

Draw, Marshal Dillon, I'm feelin' frisky

I recently spent most of an afternoon trying to explain the song by Lee County's own Luke Bryan, "Rain is a Good Thing," to the 6-year-old boy. He had no problem with rain being a good thing. He could not, however, understand why "corn makes whiskey" and then whiskey makes his girl "frisky."

Stomach flu a dogged illness

Last week, the little boy came down with some type virus. My grandmother would have called it the stomach flu. No matter what the ailment, if it involved the stomach, she'd say, "You must have the stomach flu."

Holidays just not in the cards for guys

Well, I made it through another Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day can be very stressful for the male species. We are not equipped to express undying devotion and make long term pledges of undying devotion.

Love is da bomb (threat)

Valentine's day will soon be upon us and it is nice to be loved, if you are loved, although sometimes maybe there is too much love. According to The Associated Press, Grace Guajardo, of Santiago, Chile, just might have carried love a wee bit too far.

EPA's milking its regulation powers

Just when you thought the government would not be able to come up with anything new to intrude upon, I now read that the EPA has labeled milk as "an environmental hazard." They made this decision because milk contains animal fat, fat contains oil, petroleum oil is considered a hazardous substance, therefore animal fat from milk must be hazardous as well.

LaLanne jump-started fitness TV

I was saddened to hear Jack LaLanne, famous fitness guru, died at the age of 96. News reports state he said, "I can't afford to die because it might wreck my image."

Because it was there, that's why

While in Arizona last week, I stayed at the Camelback Resort. Directly across was a mountain named, as you might imagine, Camelback Mountain. For reasons I have yet to completely understand, my wife and I decided to climb Camelback Mountain.

Oregon's mascot is just ducky

As I write this, I'm staring at Camelback Mountain, from the Camelback Inn, in Scottsdale Ariz.

Let's hope ET's aren't big pasta fans

NASA announced recently that the land rover vehicles which landed on Mars Jan. 4, 2004, would celebrate their seven-year anniversary on Mars this past Tuesday.

Bacon wraps up a gas of a Christmas

Christmas has once again come and gone. Predictably the 6-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl couldn't have been any more excited if Fathead my dog had begun to speak English and Bambi our donkey danced the Cha-Cha.

Holiday magic still in the air

Christmas is right around the corner and the 6-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl are bouncing off the wall.

The (halftime) show must go on ... and on

Being a big college football fan, I attended the SEC Championship game between Auburn and South Carolina. Also being an Auburn fan, I enjoyed the game immensely.

Wacko Quaids on the lam from whackers

As a general rule, I am not much of a movie star watcher and don't particularly cater to watching celebrity news or watching "Dancing with the Stars." I don't care if Kate Plus Eight has nine, or if she remarries, has a tummy tuck or decides to have a sex change operation and become one of Cher's children.

The Red Planet beckons ...

Unemployment remains stubbornly high, but I think two professors have now found a way to boost employment opportunities.

Potty break, two or more only

Being a member of the male species, I am the first to admit that I have no idea what drives the female mind.

Judge's ruling spooks parents with young kids

The 5-year-old boy and I often watch Animal Planet together. He, like myself, is a big animal lover. One of his favorite shows on Animal Planet is Animal Planet's "Haunted."

Facebook privacy breach is a little late

I see where public hysteria has erupted over revelations that the privacy of Facebook users everywhere has been breached. News reports indicate millions of people may have had information illegally, or unethically, transferred to other third parties and companies.My response? So what.

Stimulus is enough to wake the dead

This past week overwhelmed my feeble mind with bizarre and sometimes sad -- or perhaps I should say pathetic -- news stories. The end result is random thoughts on random matters that probably don't matter anyway.

That old campaign magic casts its spell

As most of you know, there is less than a month left before the election.I am glad we are almost there.

Class reunion a lesson in code talking

Here's a sign that maybe my summer was not quite as good as I thought it was.

PC cops hit the NFL locker room

Well, well, well, the political correctness police have struck again, deep in the bowels of the National Football League.

What dies in Vegas stays in Vegas

It seems to me that life becomes more and more chaotic with each passing year. With this said, I don't believe my life has become nearly as chaotic as it has for Bill James of Las Vegas, Nev.

Fairy labor prices inflated these days

My household is always filled with entertaining conversation from the 5-year-old boy and the newly turned 7-year-old girl who now has neither of her front teeth. She's beginning to look more and more like a Gamble relative every day. Give her a plug of tobacco and 20 cuss words and I might start calling her Aunt Joan.

Iranian ban an achy breaky heartbreaker

Over the years, I have often been reminded that no one or nothing is either all bad or all good. Even the worst person has some redeeming quality, although I am hard pressed to come up with one for Charles Manson at the moment. And, even the best person has at least something they need to work on.

Fat Head awash with cherished memories

In life, there are many memorable moments, none more so than the precious first.You know -- the first step, the first words, the first time they have to report to their parole officer. Yes, the first kiss, the first marriage and sometimes the second, third, and fourth.

Doing research whets the appetite

I read earlier this week where the government just completed a study to determine whether it is true that teenage boys actually eat much larger amounts of food than younger children or adults.

Will Tater Elvis wear blue suede shoes?

I've long ago decided the world has lost its direction and is headed to hell in a hand basket. What I don't know is why do we say "in a hand basket."

True fatherhood means always watching your back

A few days ago I was in the shower when my 6-year-old daughter burst in the bathroom under cries of "I'm about to pee-pee in my pants." She sat across from the shower to alleviate the emergency and suddenly exclaimed "Oh my goodness, I see daddy's gigantic ..."

Body art's in eye of beholder

I recently spent the weekend in Savannah with the family. We spent a good bit of time on the beach at Tybee Island.I like the beach, the smell of clean salt water, the cool breeze coming off shore and of course, all the girls in bikinis. But, things have sure changed from when I was a teenager rumbling around on the beach at Panama City.

Sacrifices should not be forgotten

Iran will soon have a nuclear bomb. North Korea torpedoed a South Korean ship without provocation. War rages in Iraq and in Afghanistan.So on and so forth it goes.

Americans show concern for aliens of all kinds

I, like many Americans, have become increasingly concerned about the issue of illegal aliens flooding this country. What is being done, what should be done, why isn't anything being done, are all valid questions and they deserve an answer.

Little boys will be little boys, even in church

I was at church last Sunday with all the family, which includes, unfortunately, at least when at church, the 5 year old boy. Church, in case you missed it, is not well designed for the average 5 year old boy, much less for the Tasmanian Tsunami I call son.

T. Gamble

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