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T. Gamble

Stories by T.

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Swinging time in Vegas left me rattled

For the first time in my sheltered life, I went to Las Vegas. Sodom and Gomorra look like a tent revival compared to Vegas.

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A fruit fly walked into a bar and ...

I remember somewhere around junior high school studying genetics. All the studies seemed to revolve around the behavior of fruit flies.

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Bacon may bring you closer to heaven

Just in case there is not enough news from the city of Detroit to disgust you, I’ll add one new tidbit. You may have seen where Amanda Clayton won $1 million in the lottery and was then followed by Channel 4 Detroit News, which showed her still purchasing food on a Bridge card, which is the state version of food stamps in Michigan.

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What would you spend $8,100 on?

In the continuing saga of Americans willing to pay for any item known to man that supposedly looks like any other item known to man, I am now stunned to learn that a Chicken McNugget found by Rebekah Speight of Dakota City, Neb., which is alleged to have looked like President George Washington, sold for $8,100 on ebay.

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A little wine goes a long way in France

I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal titled “Why French Parents are Superior.”

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We pick up the tab for other people’s ‘fun’

I’m increasingly amused by the newest arguments over contraceptives. As everyone knows, the president has ordered insurance companies must provide contraceptive coverage for anyone being insured by an employer.

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What constitutes an emergency?

I saw recently where Congress and the president have agreed to continue the current program of providing cell phones, free of charge, to anyone who is receiving food stamps. (When did 911 become the number to call for emergencies? Take the Quik Quiz to find out.)

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‘Express yourself’ on that special day

Well, they held the big event again Sunday night. I’m talking, of course, about Madonna’s halftime show. I mean, did anyone really care about the Super Bowl?

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Ghost show spooks princess

A few weeks ago, I wrote about watching “Finding Bigfoot” with the 7-year-old hurricane boy. He loves to watch anything involving monsters, dinosaurs or destruction.

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Tyler belts out star-mangled banner

Boy, the AFC National Football Game Championship was quite a spectacle. Of course, I don't mean the game, but actually Steven Tyler, lead singer for Aerosmith and, of late, noted for being a judge on "American Idol," singing — or more accurately described by one commentator as "butchering" — the national anthem. (Know what a rampart is? Click on T.'s column and take the quiz to find out.)

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Bigfoot still outstepping ‘experts’

I was sitting on the couch last night with the 7-year-old hurricane boy and 8-year-old princess, watching Animal Planet’s “Finding Bigfoot.” I’m not much of a believer in Bigfoot but I must admit that I do have at least a passing infatuation with the subject and perhaps a small percentage, let’s say 10 percent, belief maybe he exists.

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Burger stands the test of time

The New Year has really started off with a bang.

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Coaster caps off rollicking holiday

I just returned from a glorious trip to Orlando with the wife, 7-year-old hurricane boy, and 8-year-old princess girl.

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Some jobs best left to the pros

The 7-year-old hurricane boy and the 8-year-old, never-do-any-wrong princess girl are still basking in the glow of Santa Claus.

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Oh, what a lovely attic you have

Christmas time is almost upon us and for this year it means preparation for an upcoming Christmas party. My wife decided we should have a Christmas party this year.

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Gee ... Abe’s got enough statues

It seems that every day I read of some revered monument or historical place which has been destroyed or, worse yet, had the name changed from the original person honored to some newer, in vogue candidate.

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Shake, shake, shake what you got until ...

I just returned from a glorious trip to Orlando with the wife, 7-year-old hurricane boy, and 8-year-old princess girl.

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Christmas brings change of heart

Well, I’m pretty sure the Christmas season must be nearing. There are many telltale signs, but the most glaring sign of all is the desperation effort by the just turned 7-year-old hurricane boy to correct his wayward ways in time for removal from Santa’s naughty list to the horn of plenty list.

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Christmas brings change of heart

Well, I’m pretty sure the Christmas season must be nearing. There are many telltale signs, but the most glaring sign of all is the desperation effort by the just turned 7-year-old hurricane boy to correct his wayward ways in time for removal from Santa’s naughty list to the horn of plenty list.

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Munson a man of another time

And, so it ends. The Bible says to each man it is appointed once that he must die.

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Holiday lights, when is the proper time to decorate?

While recently listening to several radio stations, I’ve determined the debate rages on about whether or not Christmas decorations should be put up before Thanksgiving.

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Duggars go for an even 20 kids

I swore I would never again make mention of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar in an article. But, what the heck, it will not be the first time I have sworn to quit doing something only to return to the same bad habit.

Kardashian loses in marriage lottery

The 8-year-old empathy-filled princess was on a real roll on the way to school recently.

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What some people consider art

The world is becoming a stranger and stranger place.

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Little boy’s hopes tank out

The little hurricane 6-year-old boy is fast developing into a Class 5 major calamity.

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Playing dressup not just for kids

As a child, I often wanted to be a super hero.

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Suffering sticker shock at a funeral

As I have stated in previous articles, I grew up reading Dear Abby.

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Literary mayhem hits first grade

The little 8-year-old princess was discussing with me the story of Adam and Eve.

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Americans should have the right to save face

I recently read where actress Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz and Emma Thompson announced they have formed what is described as the “British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League.”

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Do all gnats go to heaven?

The 6-year-old hurricane boy and the just turned 8-year-old princess were recently riding with my mother and their Aunt Myra, my sister, who was visiting from San Francisco.

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Dieting under new management tough

I knew this day was coming. I guess it was inevitable.

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Some tests best left untaken

I was recently reading in USA Weekend, the magazine section of the paper, about Alzheimer’s disease.

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The things we learn on a school bus ride are endless

T. Gamble talks of some of life's lessons learned on the school bus.

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Even criminals are inept these days

T. Gamble talks about the criminal element.

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Let people be their own animal

In what may be one of the more stunning pronouncements I have read from a paper in a long time, the London Daily Mail wrote an article stating that "scientists have created more than 150 human-animal hybrid embryos in British Laboratories."

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I'd like the same deal Uncle Sam got

Thomas Jefferson purportedly said, "All men are created equal." Which, of course, is blatantly untrue.

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Middling's good? Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle

I recently read an article in the journal Science concerning baboon behavior. I enjoy reading publications that discuss things which I can relate to, and baboon behavior pretty much hits the nail on the head.According to Science, a 9-year research study was conducted on wild baboons trying to determine if the top-ranked male in baboon society was better off than those with lower ranking.

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Fourth comes in with a bang

Keeping with my family tradition, I took the 7-year-old rule-following princess and the 6-year-old hurricane boy to Eufaula, Ala., to buy fireworks for the Fourth of July.

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Predicting's just a world of trouble

By the time you read this article, you will probably only have a day or two left to live. Or at least, that's the prognosis according to Harold Camping, a preacher and founder of the Family Radio. You may have seen signs staked in the median of the four-lanes or at stop lights, saying that Judgment Day is coming May 21st.

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God is never too busy to hear a prayer

Last weekend I hurt my eye, the particulars being unimportant. This injury required me to lay around the house, in the dark, doing nothing all weekend. Come to think of it, I did like I do most every other weekend.

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Being snubbed was good for the U.S.

The biggest news in perhaps the last 20 years hit this past week requiring the President to make a special speech to the United States citizens. I mean, of course, President Obama's explanation for why he was not invited to the Royal Wedding in England. As most of the world knows, William and Kate were married and the President was snubbed.

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Work of the masters still appreciated

I don't know about anyone else, but prior to getting Internet I had no idea the world was so full of dancing dogs, singing dogs, dogs that ride on the back of elephants, dogs that are friends with monkeys and dogs that can ski. It would not surprise me one bit to receive film footage of a dog piloting an airplane or solving a complex calculus equation. Every day or two, I receive another startling dog performance.

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Daydreaming about the big win

I found myself recently fantasizing about winning the lottery. I do that whenever one of the big games goes over, say, 150 million dollars. At that level, I'll usually even buy a few tickets.

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Dark, stormy night brings togetherness

Monday afternoon, the weather forecast began to predict there would be wind storms, thunder and lightning, hard rain, and possibly tornadoes late Monday night and into the early morning hours of Tuesday morning.

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Are the good ole days the real thing?

I am always amused, or should I say bemused, when I hear people talking about the good ole days. I'm probably guilty of doing the same thing, but in reality, a lot of the good ole days weren't so good if you look very deeply.

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Kids snap up the lessons of life

Late last year, I caught a very small alligator snapping turtle who was trapped in the middle of the highway, severely dehydrated and near death. This snapping turtle was no bigger than my hand, but mean as a snake.

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Dignity lost on the slopes for Lurch

After surviving 51 years on this earth, I broke down this past weekend and went snow skiing with the 6 year old boy, 7 year old girl, and my wife. I have never once considered such a thing. I like hot weather and cold beer.

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Draw, Marshal Dillon, I'm feelin' frisky

I recently spent most of an afternoon trying to explain the song by Lee County's own Luke Bryan, "Rain is a Good Thing," to the 6-year-old boy. He had no problem with rain being a good thing. He could not, however, understand why "corn makes whiskey" and then whiskey makes his girl "frisky."

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Stomach flu a dogged illness

Last week, the little boy came down with some type virus. My grandmother would have called it the stomach flu. No matter what the ailment, if it involved the stomach, she'd say, "You must have the stomach flu."

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Holidays just not in the cards for guys

Well, I made it through another Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day can be very stressful for the male species. We are not equipped to express undying devotion and make long term pledges of undying devotion.