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T. Gamble

Stories by T.

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Love is da bomb (threat)

Valentine's day will soon be upon us and it is nice to be loved, if you are loved, although sometimes maybe there is too much love. According to The Associated Press, Grace Guajardo, of Santiago, Chile, just might have carried love a wee bit too far.

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EPA's milking its regulation powers

Just when you thought the government would not be able to come up with anything new to intrude upon, I now read that the EPA has labeled milk as "an environmental hazard." They made this decision because milk contains animal fat, fat contains oil, petroleum oil is considered a hazardous substance, therefore animal fat from milk must be hazardous as well.

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LaLanne jump-started fitness TV

I was saddened to hear Jack LaLanne, famous fitness guru, died at the age of 96. News reports state he said, "I can't afford to die because it might wreck my image."

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Because it was there, that's why

While in Arizona last week, I stayed at the Camelback Resort. Directly across was a mountain named, as you might imagine, Camelback Mountain. For reasons I have yet to completely understand, my wife and I decided to climb Camelback Mountain.

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Oregon's mascot is just ducky

As I write this, I'm staring at Camelback Mountain, from the Camelback Inn, in Scottsdale Ariz.

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Let's hope ET's aren't big pasta fans

NASA announced recently that the land rover vehicles which landed on Mars Jan. 4, 2004, would celebrate their seven-year anniversary on Mars this past Tuesday.

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Bacon wraps up a gas of a Christmas

Christmas has once again come and gone. Predictably the 6-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl couldn't have been any more excited if Fathead my dog had begun to speak English and Bambi our donkey danced the Cha-Cha.

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Holiday magic still in the air

Christmas is right around the corner and the 6-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl are bouncing off the wall.

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The (halftime) show must go on ... and on

Being a big college football fan, I attended the SEC Championship game between Auburn and South Carolina. Also being an Auburn fan, I enjoyed the game immensely.

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Wacko Quaids on the lam from whackers

As a general rule, I am not much of a movie star watcher and don't particularly cater to watching celebrity news or watching "Dancing with the Stars." I don't care if Kate Plus Eight has nine, or if she remarries, has a tummy tuck or decides to have a sex change operation and become one of Cher's children.

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The Red Planet beckons ...

Unemployment remains stubbornly high, but I think two professors have now found a way to boost employment opportunities.

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Potty break, two or more only

Being a member of the male species, I am the first to admit that I have no idea what drives the female mind.

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Judge's ruling spooks parents with young kids

The 5-year-old boy and I often watch Animal Planet together. He, like myself, is a big animal lover. One of his favorite shows on Animal Planet is Animal Planet's "Haunted."

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Facebook privacy breach is a little late

I see where public hysteria has erupted over revelations that the privacy of Facebook users everywhere has been breached. News reports indicate millions of people may have had information illegally, or unethically, transferred to other third parties and companies.My response? So what.

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Stimulus is enough to wake the dead

This past week overwhelmed my feeble mind with bizarre and sometimes sad -- or perhaps I should say pathetic -- news stories. The end result is random thoughts on random matters that probably don't matter anyway.

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That old campaign magic casts its spell

As most of you know, there is less than a month left before the election.I am glad we are almost there.

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Class reunion a lesson in code talking

Here's a sign that maybe my summer was not quite as good as I thought it was.

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PC cops hit the NFL locker room

Well, well, well, the political correctness police have struck again, deep in the bowels of the National Football League.

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What dies in Vegas stays in Vegas

It seems to me that life becomes more and more chaotic with each passing year. With this said, I don't believe my life has become nearly as chaotic as it has for Bill James of Las Vegas, Nev.

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Fairy labor prices inflated these days

My household is always filled with entertaining conversation from the 5-year-old boy and the newly turned 7-year-old girl who now has neither of her front teeth. She's beginning to look more and more like a Gamble relative every day. Give her a plug of tobacco and 20 cuss words and I might start calling her Aunt Joan.

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Iranian ban an achy breaky heartbreaker

Over the years, I have often been reminded that no one or nothing is either all bad or all good. Even the worst person has some redeeming quality, although I am hard pressed to come up with one for Charles Manson at the moment. And, even the best person has at least something they need to work on.

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Fat Head awash with cherished memories

In life, there are many memorable moments, none more so than the precious first.You know -- the first step, the first words, the first time they have to report to their parole officer. Yes, the first kiss, the first marriage and sometimes the second, third, and fourth.

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Doing research whets the appetite

I read earlier this week where the government just completed a study to determine whether it is true that teenage boys actually eat much larger amounts of food than younger children or adults.

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Will Tater Elvis wear blue suede shoes?

I've long ago decided the world has lost its direction and is headed to hell in a hand basket. What I don't know is why do we say "in a hand basket."

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True fatherhood means always watching your back

A few days ago I was in the shower when my 6-year-old daughter burst in the bathroom under cries of "I'm about to pee-pee in my pants." She sat across from the shower to alleviate the emergency and suddenly exclaimed "Oh my goodness, I see daddy's gigantic ..."

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Body art's in eye of beholder

I recently spent the weekend in Savannah with the family. We spent a good bit of time on the beach at Tybee Island.I like the beach, the smell of clean salt water, the cool breeze coming off shore and of course, all the girls in bikinis. But, things have sure changed from when I was a teenager rumbling around on the beach at Panama City.

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Sacrifices should not be forgotten

Iran will soon have a nuclear bomb. North Korea torpedoed a South Korean ship without provocation. War rages in Iraq and in Afghanistan.So on and so forth it goes.

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Americans show concern for aliens of all kinds

I, like many Americans, have become increasingly concerned about the issue of illegal aliens flooding this country. What is being done, what should be done, why isn't anything being done, are all valid questions and they deserve an answer.

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Little boys will be little boys, even in church

I was at church last Sunday with all the family, which includes, unfortunately, at least when at church, the 5 year old boy. Church, in case you missed it, is not well designed for the average 5 year old boy, much less for the Tasmanian Tsunami I call son.

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Congressional ban on old-fashioned bulbs dims America's future

I have feared for many years that mankind is becoming increasingly dumber. Well, actually, I have also figured that I am becoming increasingly dumber, but that is another story for another day.

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U.S. debt takes on whole new meaning

The 5-year-old boy and 6-year-old girl discussed important historical issues on the way home from school last week.The little boy said the greatest person ever was George Washington. The little girl said what about the Founding Fathers.

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Picking a school chief's serious work

As most of you probably already know, I am a renowned visionary. With this fact in mind, I offer my vision for the Dougherty County School Board, circa 2020.

Family man Phil bests prowling Tiger

If divine justice has ever fallen from the sky, it happened on Sunday at the Masters. Phil Mickelson, consummate family man, wins the tournament as his cancer-stricken wife, bedridden all week, waits for him at the 18th hole.

Wolfe should've 'played possum'

I recently read with interest, as opposed to my usual reading with a lack of interest, where Donald Wolfe, a 59-year-old Pennsylvania man, was charged with public drunkenness for trying to give a possum mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Now, ain't that a kick in the net?

Last week, I began my new career as a 5- and 6-year-old soccer coach.This is a stunning achievement, given that I have never played soccer in my entire life.

Dancing thoughts tempt a little angel

I took the little 6-year-old princess to church Saturday for acolyte training.

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Swiss law barks up wrong tree

According to the Wall Street Journal, Switzerland voted on whether or not to allow animals to have "publicly paid for public defenders" on Sunday.

Curling medal's a broomsweep away

The Winter Olympics have finally concluded with the USA totaling the most medals.

Tiger not out of woods over sex addiction

Like millions of other Americans, I did not watch Tiger Woods apologize to the world for cheating on his wife. Whatever happened to the good ol' days when a man apologized to his wife and left everybody else out of the fray?

Power of prayer sure is something worth pondering

As a general rule, I try to walk or jog, around my circular driveway most nights. It's 2/10 of a mile, so it serves as sort of a track.

Blame our obesity problem on the convenience stores

I see where Michelle Obama has started some type of initiative to fight childhood obesity. It is no secret Americans are too fat.

The gall bladder just doesn't get as much press

My mother recently suffered the unfortunate event of having her gall bladder removed. She is the eldest of two brothers and three sisters and was the only child still with a gall bladder.

Teddy Pendergrass represented era of real music

I was saddened last week by the news that Teddy Pendergrass, the great soul singer, had died.For a long period of time, Pendergrass was the lead singer for Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes.

We cannot see a thing in Obama's transparancy plan

When President Obama ran for president, he promised on numerous occasions that his governance would trumpet transparency.

Be sure to make the most of your life's springtime

Terrell Academy's basketball team recently broke the record for consecutive wins to start the season, winning their 10th straight game. It caught my eye because it was my senior year's team that held the record of nine straight wins.

Hoarders just seem to simply glide through life

With Christmas past and New Year's gone, it is now time to play with the gifts Santa brought, at least if you are like me and have a 5- and 6-year-old.

T. Gamble, columnist