After all, it’s a mother’s responsibility to make sure her children are properly clothed and fed every day.
For that matter, it’s the mother’s responsibility to take care of all of her children’s needs, no matter how small or grand they might be.
That’s quite an undertaking. And it’s even more awe-inspiring when a mother goes it alone.
But what if a person not only chooses single motherhood, but also goes the adoption route to make it happen? Such is the case with Albany native Deborah Carnegie.
Carnegie is the adoptive mother of three children, 15-year-old Bernard, 14-year-old Latrice and Mattie, who is 6 years old.
She came to adopt the trio after neglectful parenting had led them to the foster-care system when they were each in diapers.
“I had the first two in foster care,” the 52-year-old said in a recent telephone interview. “When the family members did not come and get them, I adopted them.”
Carnegie started caring for Bernard and Latrice when they were just 20 months old and 8 months old, respectively.
“They were 4 and 5 when I adopted them,” the Atlanta resident said.
Mattie’s adoption came more quickly, in part, because it was the wish of his birth mother.
“His mother asked me if I would adopt him,” Carnegie said. “He was just 9 days old.”
Since starting her own family, motherhood hasn’t always been easy for Carnegie. For example, the Albany native has to always be mindful of Bernard’s attention deficit disorder.
“It requires a little more supervision,” the Army veteran said.
Then there’s the challenge of cohabiting with three separate individuals.
“Dealing with the different personalities,” Carnegie said.
With those different personalities, come varied interests.
“My oldest, he likes to cook,” Carnegie said. “He likes to play games, and he’s easygoing.”
While Mattie also takes a laid-back approach to life, Latrice is a little more high-strung and seems to be developing a legal mind.
“My middle child aspires to be a lawyer,” Carnegie said.
With three such different children to nurture, single parenting does present challenges for Carnegie.
“The biggest challenge is meeting all the demands of school and medical requirements,” she said.
Raising three such different individuals might be daunting for anyone, let alone a single mother. But Carnegie believes it’s changed her for the better.
“I think it’s tempered my soul,” she said. “I think it’s been a good experience.”
And a rewarding one.
“I think the reward is knowing you’ve made your mark on the world,” Carnegie said. “Even if you don’t make a big impact today, in a 100 years, the love and guidance you’ve given your children will still be making an impact.”
Taking on the challenge to make such an impact on her own is a decision Carnegie has no regrets about.
“I’m blessed that I’ve been able to make my own decisions,” the Army veteran said.
But like any parent, Carnegie second guesses her decisions as a parent from time to time.
“You can always do something differently,” she said.
Not to worry. Carnegie does have a support-system of friends and family members.
“For that, I’m grateful,” she said.
With such support in tow, Carnegie treasures her life as a single mother.
“It’s a blessing,” she said.
Special photo
Single mom Deborah Carnegie, second from right, adopted, from left, Bernard, Mattie and Latrice after serving as their foster mother.